Protocol

It occurs to me that there’s no protocol for farting in yoga class, and there really ought to be. The bending and twisting aspect of yoga postures all but guarantees the expulsion of gas lurking about the intestinal tract. Add to this the fact that yoga is traditionally practiced in near silence, unlike, say, step aerobics where you’ve got a soundtrack loud enough to drown out even the most powerful alimentary explosions. I attend yoga class regularly, and at least a dozen times over the past year one person or another has let one rip. It can be pretty awkward, but I think I’ve found a way to solve the problem.
The most basic precept of yoga is that one be “present.” We are encouraged to occupy the moment, rather than dwelling in the past or anticipating the future. Apologizing for gas already out of the gate would be a clear indication of dwelling in the past. The only solution is to fart and yell “sorry” simultaneously. This serves to not only underscore the fact that you are, indeed, “present”, it also conveniently masks that embarrassing trumpeting sound.
I can’t wait to try this out at my next yoga class.